Heat Wave

It has been hot, hot, hot, this weekend…so if you like hot weather, it’s great.  If you don’t do well in hot weather, well then it’s torture.  I try to look at it as being just what mother nature throws you.  We haven’t had hot, hot summers for quite awhile here in Northwestern Ontario.  We are not adjusted to this weather.  Usually, we’re complaining about the rain or how cold it is.  We don’t get to complain about how hot it is.   This morning, Rick took me out for breakfast.  We don’t do that regularly, so it was nice for me.  The topic in the restaurant was of course, the weather.  I actually heard someone say that they wished it was 40 below outside!!!   Oh My God…..

I do appreciate where we live.  We live on the lake.  We are not rich, but were fortunate to get a deal on our home because we were looking at the right time for a deal.  Our house is a fixer upper.  And, lucky for me, Rick is a carpenter.  So we have done a lot of renos to our home.  There is still a long way to go, but as I’ve said before, some things don’t matter to me.  I do, however, really love our deck and dock that Rick has built.  To me, this has been my refuge.

Today, we decided to just swim and enjoy the deck.  I am trying not to worry about William who is still out fighting forest fires and I haven’t heard from him in over ten days. There are a lot of fires burning in Northwestern Ontario right now and he is out there some where making a lot of money but also saving communities from devestation.  He’s a hero!!  Wow, I just thought of that today.  The fire fighters are heros.  I don’t remember a summer like this since 1980.  I have started wriiting stories about that so  you can read that stuff later!

The point is, and the reason for this blog, is that life goes on.  That is a simple statement but it is true.  Ryan died, by his own choice, almost five years ago.  I still have three sons that are alive and must go on.  There are no guarantees in life.  We don’t know what is going to happen in the next minute from now.  That is how I live and I think there are parents who have lost a child who have chosen just to not do anything.  That is their choice and I definitely can see how difficult it is to find a reason to go on.  For me, I go on not for myself, but for my surviving children and family members.  They shouldn’t suffer for what Ryan did.  Even though Ryan may not have meant to do what he did.  He was high at the time of his suicide.  That doesn’t matter at all.  The rest of us have to find reasons to go on living without him.

View from our deck

So, wherever William is fighting forest fires, I am so happy that he is able to find something worthwhille, that makes sense to him, to go on in this life.  We only get one life!

I’m going to live mine the way I think will be beneficial!

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One thought on “Heat Wave

  1. Hi Kathy I finally got here to your blog. Your statements about life goes on is so true, it is just like it happens and you don’t realize it that you are going on with your life, you learn to live a different way, I without Steven and you without Ryan but we can still live. I live as well for my family and especially my son Adam because he still needs a mom and needs me to be there for him. talk soon

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