The painting path

Life after suicide…how does that look? I guess it looks different for everyone. Some of us just give up and disappear from society. We don’t want to talk about what happened and we don’t want the next generation to know what happened before. Some of us try to cover our emotions with other things like alcohol, drugs, food or sex. We don’t deal with what happened we just give ourselves an excuse to live life carelessly. Who could blame us? We’ve been through Hell right?
But then there are some of us who feel the need to try to figure out what happened and maybe, just maybe prevent it happening to others. It gets exhausting, yes it does, because we are not perfect people, saints or anything like that. We are hurting people who are trying to figure out how the heck we are to go on living when something so horrendous has happened. We don’t want to hide in the dark or feel ashamed.
 
You may freak out if you get a speeding ticket, a pimple on prom night, or you find out your most loved is cheating on you. To us, that is a joke. We’ve been through the darkest of dark nights and made it to the dawn. We now know what is important and what is not.
I blog because I love writing. It helps me. I hope it may help someone else, but basically it helps me. I am not sure how I am supposed to act or what I am supposed to do and of course I know that I will be criticized by people who do not understand me.
But I go on doing things that make me feel better and I hope might inspire that person who is feeling all alone, and that no one cares, to go on as well and feel better. You are not alone. There are others in the dark place or who have been in the dark place.
It takes work, a lot of effort and you will feel like giving up many times. I give up at least once a week, which is good….I then decide to continue on and whatever will be will be.
So I try to blog about positive things I am doing. Not to brag. I am no one special. Just a mom who is trying to go on after losing a child to suicide.
This week I will share with you some paintings that I have completed. Yeah, I’ll never be Picasso but it is so much fun and peaceful when painting. I also try to play the guitar and sing and of course, I write. I share this stuff with you so that you might say, “Hey, if she can do it, so can I.”
And that’s right. I’m not special. I’m just a person who doesn’t really give a shit what anyone else says because I am trying to go on in world without someone I love.
So here are my first two paintings. One is of my son, Ben, standing at New Castle Island in BC, Canada, looking at Nanaimo. The other is of a boat that I saw at some little town on Vancouver Island. I frigging love boats and lighthouses. (I’m currently attempting a lighthouse).
Please enjoy, critique, give me tips or whatever. Just try something new.
 
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5 thoughts on “The painting path

  1. You are so creative! You write, you sing, you paint – what else do you have up your sleeve? I especially love the boat picture. I too love boats and miss watching the ships come in and out of Lake Superior in Duluth, MN. What type of medium did you use? Lovely work, and thanks for an inspiring post.

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