I’m somewhat of a traditional girl, a simple traditional girl. And Christmas is full of traditions. Traditions and memories of Christmas’ past. This will be the seventh Christmas without Ryan. The first was the hardest, but it’s still a lonely time of the year. If you have gone through a loss of any kind (death, divorce, separation from loved ones or illness) holidays can really SUCK. So, I have found that the thing to do is to keep the traditions that make you feel good and try out some new ones that will make memories for next year. Also, with time, I have been able to enjoy some things that I couldn’t earlier in my grieving journey.
The “getting of the tree”, is a tradition from my childhood but was new to my husband, who grew up in a city. So he enjoys going out to the woods and chopping down a tree and I enjoy watching him do it. It makes me happy. You can check out my blog from last year titled “Oh Christmas Tree”. Yesterday, we hopped into the Corolla and headed down the highway to get “the tree”. It was sighted near to the road, which is always nice, and there isn’t too much snow out yet. He hopped out of the car and quickly sawed the tree and then attempted to stuff it into the back of the car. Problem…would not fit into the back of the car. Threw the tree over into the ditch and headed back to town to get Dad’s truck. I prayed all the way there and back, fifteen minutes of hard praying, that no one had come along and steal our tree. It was still there when we returned. Who would steal a tree around here? There are millions!
We watched the Christmas parade, even though it was very chilly out. The parade holds a lot of memories for me of Ryan, watching the parade together and being in the parade together, so I am never sure if I will watch it or not. The first year, I sat in my living room and turned the TV up louder as the music and sirens went by in the street. And most years my brother would stop by on his way home from work and watch it with me. But he is not here this year either having moved off to beautiful Nanaimo and so I was surprised that I felt like watching it and I ended up enjoying it with a friend as well.
Also, this year a new tradition is gingerbread and I will show you how that turns out next time….
We are working on the ice candles too…