Another Christmas

Christmas is hard if you are going through a trial in your life or have lost someone you love.

As Christmas comes closer and this will be the second without dad it makes me look back and look ahead at my life with mom. I’ve somehow learned to go on in this world without my oldest son.  I’ve been busy with my three surviving sons but now they are adults and pretty much on their own. William has finished school and is living on  Vancouver Island with his girlfriend. We are close. Andy is also on Vancouver Island and going to school. Ben is here working in town living in his own place.

I continue to go to mom’s every day to make sure she eats, that her house is clean and she is clean. It was an amazing day for me today when she had a shower. It has been a long time.  I had given up on that battle,  but today just thought I would start the shower and tell her it was for her. She went willingly!

She has changed quite a bit, lately. Her memory has worsened.  She is forgetting people. Family members. But at the same time she remembers certain people from a certain time in the past. She seems to be more confused and it took her awhile to unlock her door when I went over there yesterday because she couldn’t figure it out.

I have decided that we will have Christmas dinner at her house this year and am inviting family  for a pot luck.

I don’t know what Christmas will look like next year.

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